1) Mrs. Perez: "Evahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

2) Crazed boy: "you killed frightful you murderer!!!"( slap slap slap!!!!!) Man: "you're krazy!!!"

3) Gus!!!!!

4) Algae soup here we come!!!! Belch!!! That tastes awful!!!!

5) Boy running through field(in slow motion)

6) 2 hours and 35 minutes!!!!!!

7) Spell check!!!!!!

8)omg!! Look hez there again!!!!!!!!

9) Ooooooooh a dime!!!! (Jenna jumps and falls on da flo)

10) Something something something josh!!!!!

11) Something something somethin party a!!!!

12) Duh! ur a Dumbassssssss!!!!!!

13) Rape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

14) Im sooo fat!!!!!!

15)yit da dee!!!!

16) Put the spot light on him and make it hot-ta!!!!!!!

17) No that suckz-ah!!!

18) Ort!!!!

19) Incompetent guy and the orange!!!!

20) Pink spandex!!!!!

21) machismo!!!!!!!

22)codyz flowers (zipper)

23) Eva: "hey Mr. Helburg! How do u spell lahhhhhhhh??"

Mr. Helberg: "lah???? "

24) The spot light student b-fast

25) Pop pop pop pop sugar pop! Pop pop pop pop sugar pop! Now slide slide! Now grind grind!!!

26) Eva:( turnz around) "do u get this??

Jenna: no (both raise hand)

27) trey: itz the beaver!!!!!!!

28) Girlz: "hey trey how did u get over here so fast??"

Trey: (point shrug)

29) Mrs. Arvinger trippin Josh!!!!

30) Incopendent guy: wut she talkin about bored?!

Jenna: umthat sez "bold"

Incompedent Guy: oh, I know wut dat b

31) Nutty voice!! (Luverboy)

32) In Brianna language, Jenna=stinky

33) Bucketface! (Jenna: "looks like somebody sumshed his face with a bucket!) N dat is da worst lookin "afro" Ive ever seen!

34) Stephens in 3^rd grade!

35) Jenna and Eva: "lets go try on prom dresses! Yea!"

Cody: "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

36) Bighead horse!

37) Mr. Smith: "I can still see yo feetz so I kno ur there!"

38) Cody: "Eva! Who do u like?!? Just tell me!"

Jenna: "umMitchell! Yea, Mitchell!"

39)Jenna and Eva: "simba! Datz funny! That poor 7^th grader! Theyre callin him Simba!" *later on*Nick, talking to Jenna (surprise, surprise) "yea, we were takin a survey! I wanted to c if theyd say ma when we said simma but they didnt get it" Jenna: "oh" (thinkin omg were so stupid! We thought they were saying Simba!)

40) She likes d-bo-he looks sooooo bad wit dat afro!

41) Jenna hits Nick in the eye

42) Dereks like "hey how r u!"(<~ I think were scaring him!)

43)*the "hey guy"* Eva and Jenna: "I wish he would leave us alone, he keeps sayin hey! and its really annoying" trey: "well Ill go over there and if he says itIll doabsolutely nothing!but Ill really be in trouble if he sits on me!"

44)

By: Eva Ambro

*Note: this is definitely not all of the coincidences that have happened over 3 years in which Jenna and Nick have been in contact

Scene 1: (6^th grade, 1^st period, math class, or any other class for that matter, Nick is sitting behind Jenna, as usual)

Scene 5: (8^th grade graduation-if there was one while they r calling out names of grandaunts)

Announcer: "Jenna Barnhardt, Nicholas Benshoff"

Scene 6: (high school, which is a repeat of everything that happened in middle schoolonly to a higher extent but it cant say anything b/c Im in 8^th gradebut I know)

Scene 7: (high school graduation day)

Announcer: "Jenna Barnhardt, Nicholas Benshoff" (That is if he graduates)

Scene 8: (first day of college, first class)

Nick: "oh hey Jenna! This is pretty kool!"

Jenna: "yea...right nick"

Scene 9:(college dorms: after a long day of seeing one another too much, the poor, bewildered soul, (aka Jenna) comes to her dorm and well guess who has a dorm right beside her?)

Scene 10: (college graduation)

Announcer: "Jenna Barnhardt, Nicholas Benshoff" (Once again, that is if he graduates)

Scene 11: (moving into first house, things are being unpacked)

Jenna: "wow this is really great stops-*gasp*"

Nick: "Hey Jenna! This is pretty kool! Were gonna live beside one another!"

Jenna:"yea Nick, itll be great!" (NOT!)

Scene 12: (In which we mow the lawn of our new house)

Jenna: *thinking* "OMG! Look whos mowing their lawn too?!"

Nick: "Hey Jenna! How ya doing?"

Scene 13: (Nursing home w/ 2 person rooms for old people)

Jenna: "This is pretty lonely. I didnt think it would be this bad! They could at least give me a room mate!" (In her old age, she has memory lapses and doesnt realize what shes saying sometimes)

Nurse: "Well hello Mrs. Barnhardt! We have a surprise for you today! You have a new room mate!"

Jenna: "Oh, well wont that be nice!?" (MEMORY LAPSE!!!!)

Nurse: (rolling in new room mate) "Well here he is!"

*Jenna hears the faint chorus of "BoBo the magical bunny"*

Scene 14: (Death)

~Ever so evilly, the gravestones of Jenna and Nick are placed in the same graveyard, in the same corner, with the same flowers, beside one another~

45.) Fungi! Get it?! Ha ha! Slap slap!!

46.)Wez da cross-armed fat adidas gang!

47.) Hey Travis, do u remember saving Eva's life? Save ah life? Nooh!

45.) My name is LaShonda, it rhymes with boubanda, i wish i drove a Honda, I wish my name was foulanda!

46.) Smell dat pineapple stuff! Ah junk dats good! But not as good as the apple stuff that makes u high!

47.) because I need Jesus!!

48.) Nick: "give it to me baby!"

girls: "uh huh, uh huh!"

Nick: "and all the girls said Im pretty fly for a white guy!"

49.) Sumthin sumthin sumthin Cody! Or sumthin sumthin sumthin Josh!

50.) "Trey, do you like your shoes?"

51.) Trey: "Eva, ur the only person i can trust anymore!"

52.) Mister borc-o-lai!

53.) Chase!! Stop swingin me around by my bookbag!

54.) Chris: "can anyone tell me what this is?" (us: (nuthing))

Chris: "say detritus!"

us: "de-tri-tus"

Chris:omg! Ur so smart!

55.) Lets go play with the pink spandex!

56.) Jenna: "so what do u wanna talk about?"

Eva: "I dunno" Jenna: "remember at sound to sea...!"

57.) Oh no! Cody's sad!!"

58.) Compoupn!

59.) I can still see yo feetz so I know u is there!

60.) Overused in 6th grade: "darn the luck!"

61.) Da kool magazine w/ the lesboz while Cody took the fruit snacks test

62.) Nick:"hey josh i dare you to go put ur bum on ms. Arvinger!"

Josh: "ok nick!" my bum is on ms. Arvinger, my bum is on ms. Arvinger, look at me, my bum is on ms. Arvinger!"

ms. Arvinger: "josh!! Get ur butt offa me!"

63.) Ooooh! A nutty voice! So sorry Eva

65.) I know, we could read "The Lorax!"

66.) Hey LaShonda! Hey Jenna and Eva! (w/ all the weird waves!)

67.) "Green Nuts!" "Shut the hell up!"

68.) Jenna: "are giraffes mammals?

Eva: "no stupid they lay eggs!"

69.) Eva: "the quarters wont go in the machine!"

Jenna: "Lets call collect!"

Eva: "OK!" (eva dials 1-800-call-att)

Operator: "Please state ur name"

Eva: "Eva"

Operator: "will you accept pay balances?"

Eva: (hands, or rather throws the phone, to Jenna) "I dont know what to say!"

Operator: "will you accept pay balances? Please say yes or no now."

Jenna: (to Ashton and Eva) "what do say? It wants to know if Ill accept pay balances? Yes or no?"

Ashton and Eva: "I dont know!"

Jenna: (to operator) "I-dont-know."

Ashton and Eva: (laughing histerically)

Guys Dad: (hearing the same thing from the operator which is "do you accept pay balances") "I dont know! I dont know whos calling me!"

Jenna: (after somebody says yes) "Hi is Derrick there?"

Dad: "who Is this?"

Jenna: "Derricks friend"

Dad: "where are you?!"

Jenna: "umat school"

Dad: "did you call me collect?!"

Jenna: "yes"

Dad: "okDerrick!"

Derrick: "hello?"

Jenna: hi this is Jenna!"

70.)WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT MAH MULLET? CUZ EVERY THUG NEEDS A MULLET!"

71.) Nick: "BURP!"

Mrs. Ambro: "Good one!"

Nick: "thanks!"

Eva: "Mom dont talk to Nick!"

Mrs. Ambro: "why is he goofy?!"

Jenna: "yea just a little"

72.) Mrs. Ambro: (on the loudspeaker announcer thang)"Hello everyone! This is Evas MOTHER! I bet shes really embarassed right now!"

Eva: "OMG!"

Jenna: "Eva! Slump down in ur seat and STAY THERE!"

Mrs. Ambro: (after saying what to do and stuff on the Williamsburg trip) "over and out!"

Eva: "OMG!"

73.) Tarah: "Cody!"

Katelyn: (halfway asleep, heard tarah say "cody") "go away."

74.) Eva, Ashton, Jenna, Mary Grace: "Mr Jackson where are we supposed to go?"

Mr. Jackson: "I think they said to homeroom"

Eva, ashton, Jenna, Mary Grace: "well can we stay and help put up chairs or something?"

Mr. Jackson: "hey, ya wanna go yell at sixth graders?!"

Eva, Ashton, Jenna, Mary Grace: "YAY!!!!!!!!"

Eva, Ashton, Jenna, Mary Grace: "Sit dOwnN!, Stay in LinEE!"

75.) Mr. Jackson parks bus

76.) Jenna: "hes gonna hit that sign."

**reeeeerrere! (sign scrapes side of bus as we turn)**

Eva: (alone) "aaahhhhh!"

Everybody in bus: (clapping) "Wooh! Go Jackson!"

77.) "you have a fly on ur head!"

78.) (coming back on bus) SIMMA! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

79.)Eva and Jenna: hAURRY! (Jared style)

Bryan: "Harvey? Whos harvey?"

Eva and Jenna: "Hes sooooo cute! Etc."

80.) Mitchell: Gimmie a G!

All: G!"

Mitchell: Gimmie a H!

All: H!

Mitchell: Gimmie a E!

All: E!

Mitchell: Gimmie a T!

All: T!

Mitchell: Gimmie a T!

All:T!

Mitchell: Gimmie a O!

All: O!

Mitchell: What does that spell?!

All: Ghetto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

81.) Mr. Helberg: "Did I just hear Eva say something?!"

Jenna: (speaking for eva) "yeah"

Mr. Helberg: Well, as soon as I walk away shes gonna start talkin again!" starts to walk away"

Eva: (after he takes about 3 steps) "get cho walk on Mr. Helberg!"

Mr. Helberg: "did you just sayget your walk on?"

Eva: "um, yea"

Mr. Helberg: "See, I can see a little spark in you!"

Eva: **thinking** "right."

82.) Feeling Timothys head!

83.) Get yo grub on!

84.) White Donkeys and Billy goatsMr. Simth!

85.) like a bull in a china closet! HAHAHAHA!

86.) Mr. Smith: "Alrighty then, thats the ticket!"

87.) Eva licking the flowers? What?

88.) Code Names:

DeVon= D-bo

Sean Estrada=Bucketface

Matt= "da" man

Lawrence=sweet kid

Khalif= Smell Good Guy!

Nick= Stalker

Chad=Ratboy

Courtney= Lil C

DJ=EeeeeJ

Patrick=Anna

Cody=Mr. Mo, grody, etc.

Ashton=Lil Corn corn, Lil Shorty

Keary=Mullet

Jenna=Lil J, Lil Scratchy

Eva=Lil Kuz, Lil Whitey, FAT

89.) "here at Guilford Middle School, we pride ourselves in the pictures of marajuana leaves carved into the bleachers."

90.) Dr. Sturtivant: "good morning muh girls"

91.) Brandon: "See Mr. Jackson, everybody in here is my friend!"

Eva: "I aint cho friend!"

92.) **cry cry cry***sad sad sad***

93.) Things the 8^th grade graduating class of 2000-2001 do at GMS:

-shoe slashing

-taking peoples shoes

-say "ooh! Gheddo!"

-say "get mah face"

-call everybody son

-be LOUD! (espically at lunch!)

-make fun of people with mullets

-listen to rap, and only rap

-say "I cant see over ya adidases!!"

-SINGbadly and outta tune

94.) Mitchell saying the preable to the constitution in that 7^th graders face

95.) Eva: "Im in your house!"

Jenna: "yea"

95.) we vote Bryan off da table

96.) Kick the vent in!!!!

97.) when Jenna was tryin to swing on the bathroom doors but they kept caving in in the middle.ghetto doors!

98.) hey lets peel the paint off the doors! Oh I got a big piece!

99.) Get out mah face! Face! Face! Face! Derrick lookin back and forth back and forth

100.) Eva and Jenna: "Chris! We do not LIKE you!"

101.) Jake: "Dont MA me!!!"

102.) Eva: "throw a stick at Caseys shoez!!"

Casey: "Look down, then look at me and say JOOOOOKE!"

103.) Lets sit wit da drum line!

104.) Dustin: "Patrick!! Do you like PIE?!?!"

105.) GRAVITY!!!!

106.) Morris: "how you deerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrin?"

107.) Smittys Grading Scale:

_Ö __ Stop talking N

_Ö __ Stop talking N

_Ö __ Stop talking N

_Ö __ Stop talking N

_Ö __ Stop talking N

_Ö __ Stop talking S

_Ö __ Stop talking N

108.) Dir!

109.) Mo: "Mr. Helberg!I mean..Mr. Falls!

110.) Da ghetto black and gold day shirts wit da electrical tape!

111.) Patrick and Bill are twins

112.) Hes talking! (Ryan Starling?)

113.) Eva: "Hamster!!!!"

Jenna: "Noguinea pig"

Eva: Oh

114.) Oh! :o

115.) REATRDED FACE- :9

116.) Groooove!!!

117.) Yeadatz da ticket!

Jenna: How do you know all dese people!?!?

149.) Evas Love Life as of 11/2/01:

150. Jenna: Eva! U have to sit on the hood! Ur mah date!
151. Lets make Jenna look like a drag queen!
152. Cody bleeding in the mask at Spencers
153. Being "absent" when we were REALLY just late cuz Ms Pickard hates us an Eva: "mah parents are gonna kill me if you dont write me a note" Ms. Picakrd: "Well what if I wanna come to your funeral?"

     154.) Ms. PickARD!! You look PREtty TADAY!!!

154. The play with Charlie and Matt "because I got high" and we all laughed and nobody else did
155. The news show in gym

     Eva and Jenna: M-I-C- see ya at the news! K-E-Y- you know why! Cuz tha news is groovy!! MICKEY AND KICKEY ARE UNDER CUVR!

     Nobody laughed....sad

156. We were ALWAYS last in gym running and then she made us be the taggers and we all like just stood there and she all got mad again
157. Laying out on the pole vault mats in the summer in gym
158. Eva fell asleep on tha flo during gym
159. We got the sub in gym to let us go sleep on the couch in the auditorium
160. Jenna and Eva: "Mr. Falls! Dont write a time on the not to get us back in gym!"

     Mr. Falls: okay!!!! Yall can do whatever for.15 minutes!!

     Jenna and Eva: okyay

     Jenna and Eva: **see Mr Falls in the hall after like an hour of not going back to class** "Ooh, hey Mr. Falls"

     Mr Falls: "Oh, hey girls! Hahaha!!!!"

161. Jenna: (To Chinese John) Hey can I play with ur little translator thing?"

     Chinese John: **Nods Yes** **puts translator thing in bookbag**

     Jenna: "Yeaok"

     Eva: *Laughs hysterically*

162. Muh Ball!! An entertaining and pretty much effortless sport by Jenna and Eva
163. **after being last to finish, as usual walking laps in gym*

     Ms. Pickard: "HummmI need some taggers for this game where you have to run around and tag people until you get everybody out" **Surveys class** "HUMM!! How bout Jenna and Eva?!"

     Jenna and Eva: **blank stare and look of disgust** (We aint chase nobody we waited for them to come to us and Ms. Pickard got all madder at usLOL!)

164. Eva were the last person standing in the game and Barrett was all chasing her
165. Eva: *turns and randomly looks out the door* "OH GOD!! ITS JUSTIN MALEVAE!!" ~~Later that day~~ She turns around in the commons area and looks around* "OH GOD!! ITS JUSTIN MALEVE!! HES THERE AGAIN!!" ~~50,000 years later in a nursing home~~ She hears somebody shuffling down the hallway so she turns around and looks out the door and* "ITS JUSTIN AGAIN!! AAAH! This kid is everywhere!!
166. Eeew! Its Dustin! HEY GURL!!
167. Dustin: "Hey Big head!"

     Eva: "Hey small.WHOO NEVERMIND!!

168. Jenna: *very excited because Eddy should have graduated and she wont have to hear Eva spas over him anymore* "Aaahthis is good!"

     Eva: "Hey look!! Its Eddy!!

     Random person #1: "oh, yea he didnt pass somethin so they didnt graduate him, hes back!!

     Eva: "AAAH!!!! YAY!!! OMG Jenna I love him sooo much!!"

     Jenna: "Great"

169. Jenna: Look Eva! Its Allen Austin! Wave at him!!"

     Eva: "Nooooo!"

     Jenna: "Why? Is he annoying?"

     Eva: "NO! Hes ugly!!!!"

170. Stealing with Jenna and Eva: 1 box sugar that we were afraid was gonna have crack in it and the drug dogs were gonna find it, the SECME fashion show sign, many other signsWALK up*RIP!*
171. Trying to escape Matt and Charlie tickling us in gym
172. Jenna: (To sub in gym) "Eva has a headache, can we go to the auditorium where theres a couch and she can lay down?"

     Sub: "yeah sure" **We walk to auditorium and meet Rafeal**

     Mr. Rash: "You need to go back to class! Youre skipping!!"

173. Jennas dual identies in the yearbook freshman yearJenna Barnhardt AND Jason Calmes
174. Jenna: (Mickey) "Mickey does nowt appruve of that kind ov lauguage!"

     Eva: (Kickey) "Kickey says SHUUUUUT UUUUPP!!

175. The movie CYBIL!! She wuz all getting chased by that headless cat!! It sed REEERR!! It be chasin her thru the fields and it were in tha wall!! Devon was like "Man! dat cat still chasin her?!"
176. That ISSSS true! That ISSS gay!
177. Groove!
178. Rafeal: "Tim wants to go out with you!!"

     Jenna: Aah..noooo

     Tim: (Later on) "Go out with me"

     Jenna: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

179. Katelyn threw Eva in the pile of starburst wrappers and we were mad cuz ur mom threw them away!!
180. Watching "The Fox and the Hound" on the band trip
181. Ordering pizza at 12:30 in the morning and then we couldnt eat it so we put it on the porch in front of the room with a "take one" sign
182. We were supposed to be at breakfast in the band trip at 8:35 and we all woke up at 8:34 and went to it in our pajamas lookin like crap
183. Jenna and Eva: "Thats a little bit uhhhhGETO!!"
184. Playing in the big tubey playplace in the resort in the band trip in our bathing suits and we all got lost and we were scurred to crawl thru the little swingy bridge thing and we all got lost trying to follow each other so Joshy could get us out
185. Jenna: (after event with Joseph) "EVA!! He grabbed mah butt!! He wuz like **GRAB MOTION** UUHAAH!!
186. Eva: "Heeeeeeeeyyy Jeeeeeeeennnnaaaaa!!"

     Jenna: "Heeeeyyyyy Evvvvvaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"

187. Eric Eaves always followed us around in gym
188. The Chinese Johns names are.John, John, John, and JOHN!!
189. Jenna: **sees a ghetto "wings store at the beach** "LOOK!! Its called Twings!!"
190. Having sweat fights with Joshy in the sauna
191. The sauna was all white and we couldnt see and carrottoppy all jumed from the corner and wuz like Ah! And were like AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
192. The elevator in the band trip resort took like 8 years to come down
193. We all took the picture of "the man that brought the elevator"
194. We went down the elevator and we pressed all the buttons and that hippie man was like "Its probably one of those hoodlums on the 9^th floor".which is where we were
195. When we tried to be helpful and carry that percussion thingy and we bent down at the same time to pick it up and hit our heads together all hard
196. We love hosea (but not really)
197. Get down get deeper and down on saturday night!!--Saturday Night Divas!!
198. When we all beat Cody and Justin in rock,paper, scissors and that lady walked by when cody was all like "YOU SLUT!!" and all looked at us like were crazy and then we couldnt go to Lone Star and stalk Kenny and Cody dragged you across the parking lot and you were all like "COJE NOOO!!"
199. The tampon motion!! (One of....these)
200. Can I get a refil?
201. The gay clown at the circus that had like 3 dance moves and he was all like "Can you feel it? its the circus!!" and then Cody and Justin all did the dance and looked all gay
202. We stole all the tampons and pads from the little free basket in mamma Rigsby's club and she was all like OMG that was my idea!! You stole my tampons?
203. At Cody's play when we were trying to find him in the intermission and we pretended to be on the pay phones and you were all like....MY TURN!! Then we formulated a master plan to getr to see him....okay, you distract them, and i'll run!! Heeeyyy!! Look at her titties!! *run run run*
204. Awwww!! Our baby's a mexican!!
205. When Joseph molested us at the water fountain and like grabbed my butt and we all backed up into the bathroom when somebody came to talk to him and i was like AAAAH **grabbing motion** and you started like dying
206. Eva: What's that little office helper dog doing?

        Jenna: He's WELDING...duh...

207. Guys in the hall: "well, first of all, DUH"

208. Playing pool in bible lit every day

209. Humm....if we can't get on Quick Buddy, lets juuuust download AIM on the school computers...

210. The mexicans at wal mart that were all like "Helloooo ladies" and you were like umm..."Were lesbians..."

211. The guy at the store at Myrtle Beach that sold the shorts for discount and he was like "dey sey myrtle beach....annnd deyre FOUZZY!!"

212. The guys that tried to pick us up on the strip and i was like...hey.......and then they were like ''bye girls!!" and i was like ummm byeee

213. PIZZA MINIS!!

214. Our...adventure at Myrtle beach that night(shhh dont tell nobody!!)

215. Fight in the t-shirt store!!

216. The man in the little red truck

217. The people in the gas station were all nice

218. When i got attacked by the lobster and then you were all screamin and running too even tho u didnt know what it was then cody was all like AHHH its a lobster!!

219. Lets buy snacks with change!! Coinstar $18

220. Look Eva!! ur twan!!

221. Jenna: Eva! That girl is whiter than you!!

         Eva: **gasp**(pulls up pants leg slowly) AHH!!   she is!!

222. When we had to walk back from the beach at like 11pm with ONE shoe and we all pretended to be lesbians cuz those people kept driving by and we were all like hopping on one foot cuz we all tried to take that shortcut on the not jagged road and then there werent one and that guy was all following us

223. Pappy Rabb Road?

224. Critter's corner Road?

225. When we watched "I love 1981" for like an hour on VH1

226. **lady rolls in gymnastics** "I used to be in girl scouts!!"

227.  Well...we can just make beach shirts

228. Spice Girls sing along!!

229. Cody: I love how i'm out of ammo! *BAM!!(hits justin with gun in video game*

230. Lets find shorts that say "bling bling" on the butt!!

231. Eva's shoulder dance

232. Cody's 'tatas' song

233. Nana Cream!!